I had a long, long day at work. My recent project
assignment had more political issues than I anticipated. Though, I was
happy to take on additional responsibilities in my current position, I
was also apprehensive and careful so as not to burn any bridges while I
am at it.
Wednesday just didn’t seem to end. I was mentally exhausted. At one point I thought I'll give the volunteer visit a pass because I just wanted to go home, hide under my blanket and relax. But, then I realized that this is one of the few times of the week when I just unwind. I don't have to watch my words or worry about being politically correct or make sure that I maintain a good relation.
I tried to go early this time so I could catch my patients while they are having dinner. I saw Ms. Lovely Smile sitting on a table. As I approached her, she seemed to be confused to who I am. I didn’t get the customary smile from her. It appeared as if she was thinking about something. When she saw me, she acknowledged my presence and started mumbling about something. It seemed as if she was speaking out whatever she was thinking in her mind. It was more like a one-sided conversation where she was narrating some incidents and I was merely nodding to show acknowledgement. I offered to feed her the dinner. There was chicken, rice, carrots and beans. She did make a few comments about the food. All I remember is that she said that she likes the greens and kept pointing to the beans. All the time I was helping her eat the dinner, she was talking continuously. I zoned out and I was mechanically performing the task of feeding her while observing her expressions and body language very closely. At one point, she started to fold-in in my T shirt under my sweater around the wrist area so that it does not look shabby. I was moved by that gesture. She suddenly took the role of a ‘grandmother’. It felt like I’ve known her for quite a while now. Occasionally, I would try to understand what she was talking about. She mentioned that she was born around the time of the Great Depression. The Easter decorations on the surrounding tables reminder her of the Christmas/Holiday shopping and she started recounting some of the experiences. Since her speech was muffled, I had a really hard time understanding her. But, she was looking so adorable with her eyes so expressive. At one point she kept staring at me, and commented that my eyes look beautiful. The compliment seemed so genuine that it touched my heart. All this time, I was looking at her and admiring how wonderful a person she must have been and she still is. And how lucky are the people around her to have her. So loving and so caring.
Wednesday just didn’t seem to end. I was mentally exhausted. At one point I thought I'll give the volunteer visit a pass because I just wanted to go home, hide under my blanket and relax. But, then I realized that this is one of the few times of the week when I just unwind. I don't have to watch my words or worry about being politically correct or make sure that I maintain a good relation.
I tried to go early this time so I could catch my patients while they are having dinner. I saw Ms. Lovely Smile sitting on a table. As I approached her, she seemed to be confused to who I am. I didn’t get the customary smile from her. It appeared as if she was thinking about something. When she saw me, she acknowledged my presence and started mumbling about something. It seemed as if she was speaking out whatever she was thinking in her mind. It was more like a one-sided conversation where she was narrating some incidents and I was merely nodding to show acknowledgement. I offered to feed her the dinner. There was chicken, rice, carrots and beans. She did make a few comments about the food. All I remember is that she said that she likes the greens and kept pointing to the beans. All the time I was helping her eat the dinner, she was talking continuously. I zoned out and I was mechanically performing the task of feeding her while observing her expressions and body language very closely. At one point, she started to fold-in in my T shirt under my sweater around the wrist area so that it does not look shabby. I was moved by that gesture. She suddenly took the role of a ‘grandmother’. It felt like I’ve known her for quite a while now. Occasionally, I would try to understand what she was talking about. She mentioned that she was born around the time of the Great Depression. The Easter decorations on the surrounding tables reminder her of the Christmas/Holiday shopping and she started recounting some of the experiences. Since her speech was muffled, I had a really hard time understanding her. But, she was looking so adorable with her eyes so expressive. At one point she kept staring at me, and commented that my eyes look beautiful. The compliment seemed so genuine that it touched my heart. All this time, I was looking at her and admiring how wonderful a person she must have been and she still is. And how lucky are the people around her to have her. So loving and so caring.
After
spending a considerable amount of time with Ms. Lovely Smile, I
proceeded (with a lot of apprehension) to the other new patient, who was
hostile to me last time. She was already done with her dinner and
sitting in the living room watching TV. She saw me walking towards her
and she extended her hand to reach out to me. I got a huge smile and it
seemed like she recognized me. She appears to be more responsive and
alert of surroundings than the other patients that I have been assigned
till now. Our interaction was rather interesting this time. She was the
one doing the most talking. She kept asking where I got my glasses from.
At one point, she also asked where I got my eyebrows from. So on and so
forth. She asked me to take her out anywhere, she just wanted to go out
of that place or go for a drive. It just broke my heart that I couldn’t
do anything about it. It seems like she is aware that she is in a
hospice but she probably hasn’t come to terms with it and still wants to
get out of it. I had to dodge her question a little bit, but I was
happy that at least we got off to a good start.
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