Thursday, 4 February 2010

Jan 27 and Feb 3 2010

This entry reflects my previous 2 visits to the hospice and interaction with the patients. The hospice visit has now become a part of my routine. Every week, I look forward to the coming Wednesday on what new learning will it bring to me. The past 2 visits went by pretty normal. I went up with Mr. Polite and had a lovely conversation with him. Every week, without fail, he does not forget to compliment me. There is a new adjective every week… from beautiful, pretty, wonderful and now radiant. I wonder what he is going to say next week. The past 2 visits have been very conversational with him. Initially, a couple of times I have had to struggle with stuff to talk about. But, the past 2 times, he has been very conversational. It is good in a way that he is become more and more responsive. What disturbs me is that he has no sense of his current situation. He, probably, recollects his past memories and starts re-living them. For instance, yesterday he was talking about how he and his wife decided not to sell their house and how he enjoyed playing tennis with his buddy that he met after a long, long time. He was imagining that he was sitting in a restaurant in LA and having dinner with his buddy. He then asked me how my day went and whether I was able to find a new tennis group. He probably thinks I’m one of his old tennis friends. At this point, I was in an ethical dilemma whether to tell him the truth or play along with him. It would break my heart to tell him that he is a patient and he is at a hospice, not a restaurant. I decided to just play along with his imaginative stories. I’m pretty confident that in his young days he must have been a real charmer!
I was sad to hear that Miss Beautiful Eyes had to be moved to another hospice for better care. I really started seeing some positive response from her. There was something about her, about her eyes that made me want to know more and keep talking to her. I don’t know if I’ll be able to continue to see her, but I hope she does well.
Meanwhile, Miss Lovely Smile has been surprising me every time. I am getting used to seeing such positive response from her. I didn’t get to see her last week since he was bed-ridden. Yesterday, I went up to her while she was having dinner. I try to keep it cheerful with her to see her response. She gave me a huge smile and it radiated to her eyes. That alone was enough for me! I sat down next to her trying to have a conversation. She was more response than last time, though I still had to try hard to hear her talk. To my surprise, not only was she keeping up with the conversation, she was also engaging in one herself. One of other patients at the table was shouting and making faces at attract attention. Instant, we looked at each other and shared a smirk! ;) That was wonderful! I could see that she must have been a fun-loving person, that attribute still exists within her. I then helped her finish the dinner and I made sure I was asking questions and seeking response from her. It is very encouraging to see such a positive response from her.
Before I started volunteering at this hospice, I warned how emotionally exhaustive this can be, especially when the patients you visit are not showing a positive response. I must say that I was both nervous and apprehensive on what kind of response I will receive. But, I’m lucky to be getting such positive responses from the patients that I am visiting. It hurts to see these patients at the end of their life. Most of them have lived on to gain wonderful experiences and parts of their personalities are still reflected in certain aspects of their behavior. I feel rewarded to be able to interact with them and glean on their experiences.

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